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Ever get so busy and overworked that you don’t even have time to take a decent shower, make yourself a strong cup of coffee or change out of your sleeping clothes before leaving for work? […]

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When a criminal does something that even the dorks on “jackass” won’t do, you’ve reached a whole new low in stupidity. In fact, it can’t even be called stupidity. I shall make up a name for that level now - “shtumlippity.”
A guy in San Diego got caught stealing lobsters from traps and hiding them in […]

Casinos are designed for the ignorant. They have no readily accessible clocks or windows. They have ATMs that don’t belong to specific banks and have astronomical withdrawal fees. They even keep giving you free drinks because if alcohol made you smarter, I’d be a physicist instead of a blogger for the Dumb Network.
One man […]

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said 7,514 times: drinking and driving don’t ever mix. Don’t do it. I know the cars have cup holders and you think that that will make the driving experience safer because that makes it “hands-free,” but it’s still flat out wrong.
That didn’t stop one woman from driving drunk, […]

It’s always nice when someone takes the time to leave someone else a “thank you” note. It’s never nice when someone takes the time to leave someone else a “f*#& you” note.

According to the Des Moines Register, two burglars got so frustrated trying to crack a safe that they left an angry note for its […]

Women never cease to amaze me. They complain constantly about men’s lack of organizations and cleanliness and yet their purses are jungles of femininity. I’ve seen women take machetes to get to the bottom of them just so they can find change for toll booths.

According to WPXI in Pittsburgh, a woman’s purse foiled her heroin […]

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 7,846 times, drugs make you stupid. They also make you impotent, slow and hungry. If they made you white, drugs will also make you into your average right wing radio talk show host.

According to the AP, a man walking through a security checkpoint got busted with weed. […]

Identity theft has taken on a new form recently by arresting suspects using other names and personal information when they are charged at the scene of a crime. It doesn’t always work though.
According to the , a man used the name of a wanted murderer during his arrest for some unpaid parking tickets.
Police stopped […]

Some people never learn. After this moment, this moment, this moment and this moment, someone still called police to report that their drugs had been stolen. You know, I’m starting to think maybe drugs don’t make you so smart.

According to , a man and woman in California (where else, other than Florida?) called police to […]

I’ve never understood why anyone would choose to burglarize a church. Don’t they know that God can kick their ass? My priest told me that when I was a kid, it could be true.

According to the AP, police arrested a man for vandalizing a church and caught him the next morning after he fell asleep […]