Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Don’t You Go Changing

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009

Ever get so busy and overworked that you don’t even have time to take a decent shower, make yourself a strong cup of coffee or change out of your sleeping clothes before leaving for work? […]

Related posts:

  1. Old Folks Selling Pills for Cash Kentucky police arrested an Dottie Neely, 87 years old, on…
  2. Just Say No to Dogs What happens when a woman tries to use a dog’s…
  3. Phony Mall Santa Drops His Pants A Salem, New Hampshire man was determined to spread some…

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Via: Dumb Criminals

Lobster Thief Gets Pinched

Monday, October 13th, 2008

When a criminal does something that even the dorks on “jackass” won’t do, you’ve reached a whole new low in stupidity. In fact, it can’t even be called stupidity. I shall make up a name for that level now - “shtumlippity.”
A guy in San Diego got caught stealing lobsters from traps and hiding them in […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

Dumble Down

Monday, July 28th, 2008

Casinos are designed for the ignorant. They have no readily accessible clocks or windows. They have ATMs that don’t belong to specific banks and have astronomical withdrawal fees. They even keep giving you free drinks because if alcohol made you smarter, I’d be a physicist instead of a blogger for the Dumb Network.
One man […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

Insert Your Own Dumb ‘Drive-Thru’ Joke Here

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said 7,514 times: drinking and driving don’t ever mix. Don’t do it. I know the cars have cup holders and you think that that will make the driving experience safer because that makes it “hands-free,” but it’s still flat out wrong.
That didn’t stop one woman from driving drunk, […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

A Noteworthy Burglary

Friday, May 30th, 2008

It’s always nice when someone takes the time to leave someone else a “thank you” note. It’s never nice when someone takes the time to leave someone else a “f*#& you” note.

According to the Des Moines Register, two burglars got so frustrated trying to crack a safe that they left an angry note for its […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

A Few Heroin Bricks Short of a Wall

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Women never cease to amaze me. They complain constantly about men’s lack of organizations and cleanliness and yet their purses are jungles of femininity. I’ve seen women take machetes to get to the bottom of them just so they can find change for toll booths.

According to WPXI in Pittsburgh, a woman’s purse foiled her heroin […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

A Joint in the Joint

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 7,846 times, drugs make you stupid. They also make you impotent, slow and hungry. If they made you white, drugs will also make you into your average right wing radio talk show host.

According to the AP, a man walking through a security checkpoint got busted with weed. […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

Dropping Names on Your Own Foot

Monday, May 5th, 2008

Identity theft has taken on a new form recently by arresting suspects using other names and personal information when they are charged at the scene of a crime. It doesn’t always work though.
According to the , a man used the name of a wanted murderer during his arrest for some unpaid parking tickets.
Police stopped […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

Once and for All, Police Will Not Recover Your Stolen Stash

Saturday, May 3rd, 2008

Some people never learn. After this moment, this moment, this moment and this moment, someone still called police to report that their drugs had been stolen. You know, I’m starting to think maybe drugs don’t make you so smart.

According to , a man and woman in California (where else, other than Florida?) called police to […]

Via: Dumb Criminals

A Heavenly Rest

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

I’ve never understood why anyone would choose to burglarize a church. Don’t they know that God can kick their ass? My priest told me that when I was a kid, it could be true.

According to the AP, police arrested a man for vandalizing a church and caught him the next morning after he fell asleep […]

Via: Dumb Criminals