APBnews

When you try to steal a GPS device, there’s a slight problem with the plan. A fricking satellite that’s orbiting the fricking Earth can pinpoint your exact location from outer fricking space. You’re fricked.

So much for clanking out coded messages on the prison bars. Some Virginia inmates apparently have found a more modern means of communication.

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None of the three suspects in the disappearance of Alabama teenager Natalee Holloway will be charged, the Aruban public prosecutor’s office said today. Hans Mos, the island nation’s chief public prosecutor, said there was not enough evidence to take the case to trial.

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A manhunt is under way Tuesday for two inmates who chipped their way out of a New Jersey jail and left behind a note wishing authorities “Happy Holidays.”